12 de fev. de 2009

Uma semana de blogagem a respeito de adoção que começou a ser tramada por Geórgia Aergeter e Dácio Jaegger a partir do post “Se achamos que adoção é fácil continuemos lendo”, onde em seu comentário sugeriu que o assunto dava um blogagem. Não tinha seu e-mail e pedi a Meire que comunicou à Geórgia que entrou em contato e entre idas e vindas sugeri a ela um selo que no seu retângulo em alto relevo como se fora uma placa a cor vermelha representaria não o sangue azul dos reis e sim o sangue nobre das pessoas de bem, um símbolo de vitalidade e energia, pois estimula a formação do sangue e libera a adrenalina necessária para agüentar-se os trancos do processo de adoção legal.
O coração é o símbolo universal do amor incondicional, os dois maiores, vermelhos de envolvente paixão em torno de uma causa comum coroados por halos em formato de coração azulado representando a calma e a sobriedade, pois é redutor do egoísmo e atrai a harmonia. Confere jovialidade nas transações da adoção e teria efeito calmante nas tensões nervosas de que tanto necessita o adotado. Estes halos projetam sombras avermelhadas que irão amparar o coração menor, a criança ou adolescente, também gente, como qualquer ser humano, a imagem universal do Criador que a todos adotou sem distinção de qualquer espécie. Por fim o azul que envolve os corações que se amam é a nova aurora na vida da neo-família que representa o engrandecimento da raça humana. Engrandecida ficou a blogosfera com mais de uma centena de homens e mulheres que arregaçaram as mangas e transformaram sugestões de dois no desejo de todos por um mundo adotivo melhor. Nenhuma demonstração de egoísmo, falácia, nenhum sofisma, todos que visitei e li deixaram seus corações pulsar a valer e deitaram falação... e botaram para fora angústias e medos, esperanças e desejos, conselhos e pedidos de sugestões, orientações técnicas colhidas em meios apropriados, blogueiros capitaneando com rigidez de princípios morais. Todos sem exceção estão de parabéns! Fiquei feliz pela atuação da guerreira Geórgia, a incansável perseguidora de perfeição e organização que acatou sugestões simples e as pôs em prática. Bom final de semana. Escrito por Dácio Jaegger às 00h04


09/11/2008
C a r t a à G e o r g i a A e g e r t e r (Saia Justa) (extensiva aos 1 4 0 blogueiros da Blogagem Coletiva da Adoção),
com os meus agradecimentos por ter pegado o pião na unha para a organização e efetivaçãode uma semana de blogagem, porque o assunto está a merecer toda reflexão de mães e pais, filhos biológicos e adotados.
Olá querida amiga e demais amigos!
Antes, quero esclarecer que em 1958 a natureza predominantemente hereditária da Câmara dos Lordes foi mudada pelo Ato da Nobreza de Vida /58, que autorizava a criação de baronatos de vida (que não eram transmitidos aos descendentes), sem limite numérico. Com isto, impediu-se que os desmandos da realeza britânica permanente continuassem a dominar e subjugar o povo inglês e da comunidade britânica. De lá escapou para o povo da ilha; outras nações se apropriaram (não tinha copyrigth). O ato de nobreza é muito mais nobre do que se pensa, origina-se no coração e mantém base no coração, e é aí que quero chegar. Veja como o amor é pouco usado na adoção. É estudo e estatística de Brasil, deste país feito por nós.
Quero "en passant" lembrar que segundo o Livro do Êxodo, Moisés foi adotado pela filha de um Faraó após ser "achado" num cesto boiando no Rio Nilo e educado na corte como um princípe do Egito. A princesa cometeu um ato de nobreza ao adotá-lo, posteriormente de AMOR, ao criá-lo. Jesús, o filho de Maria foi concebido pelo Espírito Santo por amor? Sim? José, pelas lei da época acusaria Maria que seria condenada ao apedrejamento por adultério. Ele aceitou a explicação de um anjo e tornou-se pai adotivo de Jesús. Um ato de nobreza. Brutus, um filho adotivo da nobreza, o foi por amor? Sabe-se que matou o pai adotivo Cesar, no complô do Senado Romano. "Rômulo e Remo da lenda, filhos adotivos de uma loba (qual o simbolismo?) vieram a fundar Roma" (?!). Em Esparta, crianças aleijadas ou doentes eram atiradas num despenhadeiro por questão eugênica. Povos primitivos como, aborígenes, índios brasileiros, por questões econômicas, matavam e matam bebês defeituosos ou nascidos fora de casamento. Os chineses mantém prática que a lei permite, um único filho por casal. Chegam a abusos, como o infanticídio, os abortos forçado e seletivo de fetos femininos, por casais que preferem ter um menino. Existe adoção na China? No Brasil, a imprensa vez por outra aborda o tema procurando atiçar o amor daqueles que poderiam adotar uma criança, a pedido de juízes, promotores, ONGs e outros. E há um movimento intrínsico no povo que quer adoções legais de crianças (58%) nos orfanatos do governo, de instituições religiosas ou de ONGs. Há adoções ilegais (42%).
"Histórias de adoção onde filhos se revoltam contra pais ou de filhos adotivos que abandonam suas casas, são tão comuns quanto em famílias constituídas biologicamente. Considerar que "um filho é bom por ser ele filho biológico" ou que "um filho é mau por ser ele filho adotivo" significa uma permeabilidade aos mitos advindos da cultura da adoção; significa estigmatizar a adoção e desconsiderar seu potencial criativo; significa descrer na possibilidade de exercer a maternidade e a paternidade por via da adoção. (Mário Lázaro Camargo é psicólogo, mestre em Psicologia pela Unesp).
A psicóloga Lídia Weber, em sua tese de doutorado na Universidade Federal do Paraná, (aqui) aponta razões de demora na adoção. Uma delas, a exigência do adotante. Ouvindo 400 famílias em 17 estados, ela verificou que 85% assumiram bebês de até 2 anos. "O limite de idade é maior que a preferência pela cor da pele", observa. ( Só até 2 anos há amor? Acima nem nobreza? Em agosto passado, das crianças liberadas para adoção e mantidas em abrigos paulistas ligados a ONGs e igrejas, 1 042 estavam com mais de 12 anos ou tinham irmãos, que a lei não separa (repelidos, quando existiria tanto amor para dar nos casais adotantes... Também o ato de nobreza não cabe... Estrangeiros aceitam essas condições. Hoje, há 40 mil franceses e 18 mil italianos na fila (São todos eles dotados de amor incomensurável? Superam os brasileiros neste quesito, então?), mas eles só entram no páreo depois que os nacionais abrirem mão Uma medida legal pretende conter a adoção internacional para garantir à criança o direito à nacionalidade – há 80 mil crianças e adolescentes nos orfanatos brasileiros – não se pode esperar nem amor nem nobreza nos juizados. Outro fator dramático envolve a destituição do poder familiar. Com base no E C A e no Código Civil, a criança só pode ser destinada à adoção após a sentença que tira dos parentes o direito sobre ela. Um estudo do Instituto de Pesquisa Econômica Aplicada (Ipea) feito em 2004 em 580 abrigos do país revelou que 88% das 19 373 crianças não estavam aptas a adoção porque continuavam legalmente ligadas aos pais. O juiz Reinaldo Cintra Torres de Carvalho, do Tribunal de Justiça de São Paulo, explica: "Não podemos privar a família de criar o filho porque é pobre. Esgotamos as tentativas de reestruturá-la para que possa receber a criança de volta". Para isso, recorrem à rede social de apoio do poder público e de ONGs. No mar de entraves com que essas iniciativas navegam, as soluções levam tempo. "Assim, a criança 'envelhece', passa da idade procurada pelos adotantes", diz Lídia." Em "Mitos e Verdades no Processo de Adoção" Lídia Weber "nos leva a uma discussão reflexiva sobre os mitos, medos e preconceitos presentes no processo de adoção no Brasil.
Mito Filhos adotivos sempre têm problemas.Verdade O filho adotivo não tem dificuldades na escola, nem com a educação ou relacionamento afetivo. Mito Pais adotivos preferem não revelar a adoção para o filho.Verdade Pais adotivos contam sobre a adoção, mas não gostam de falar sobre isso com freqüência com seu filho.Mito Filhos adotivos sempre pensam na família de origem e querem conhecê-la.Verdade Ele não quer ter muitas informações nem conhecer a família biológica, mas quer conversar sobre a adoção. Mito Escolher a criança a ser adotada facilita o vínculo afetivo.Verdade A escolha da criança não determina maior ou menor qualidade no relacionamento afetivo. Mito A motivação para a adoção é sempre a infertilidade.Verdade 63% dos adotantes adotaram por infertilidade e 37% alegaram motivações altruístas. Mito A motivação para adoção é fundamental para o sucesso da adoção e adoções "por caridade" não dão certo.Verdade A motivação (altruísmo ou infertilidade) não determina melhor relacionamento afetivo.Mito Somente pessoas ricas podem adotar.Verdade Há adotantes em todas as faixas econômicas, mas há predomínio de pessoas com melhor poder aquisitivo e melhor condição sócio-cultural. Mito Pessoas mais esclarecidas são menos exigentes e têm menos preconceito.Verdade Adotantes de menor poder aquisitivo e nível sócio-cultural são os que mais fizeram adoções altruístas e apresentaram exigências menores em relação à criança. A proporção de pessoas das religiões espíritas e protestantes é mais alta entre os adotantes do que na população em geral.Mito Os adotantes preferem bebês recém-nascidos.Verdade Sim, 71% adotam bebês com até 3 meses e com leve preferência por meninas de cor branca e saudáveis. Mito Adotar deve ser natural e não é preciso preparação especial.Verdade Os adotantes e filhos adotivos afirmam que é fundamental ter uma preparação para a adoção.Mito Atualmente as adoções são através do sistema legal.Verdade 52% das adoções são legais (Juizados) e 48% informais (registro da criança como filho biológico).Mito Filhos adotivos com a cor de pele diferente têm mais problemas em relação à discriminação.Verdade A cor da pele da criança adotada não traz maior discriminação ou tratamento preconceituoso. Mito Pais com filhos biológicos e adotivos têm sentimento maior pelos biológicos.Verdade Famílias por adoção sofrem discriminação quase sempre da extensão familiar e dos amigos. Mito É melhor a criança adotada não saber de sua adoção.Verdade Pais e filhos biológicos afirmam que o tratamento é igual, mas os adotivos dizem que, às vezes, os biológicos têm melhor tratamento. Mito É melhor não falar muito do assunto com o filho adotivo para não potencializar a importância da origem.Verdade Problemas encontrados nas famílias: na ocorrência de revelação tardia (após os 6 anos) ou feita por terceiros. Mito Adotantes que optaram pelo processo legal têm opinião positiva sobre os Juizados.Verdade Tanto os que fizeram adoções legais quanto informais têm imagem negativa dos Juizados. Mito Filhos adotivos têm dificuldade em amar seus pais adotivos.Verdade 92,5% dos filhos adotivos afirmaram amar seus pais e os pais adotivos citam "ser afetivo" como o principal atributo em seus filhos adotivos.
Pais adotivos por ato de nobreza contam sobre a adoção, mas por amor não gostam de falar sobre isso com mais freqüência com seu filho. 63% dos adotantes adotaram por infertilidade que lhes causou sentimento de fracasso, frustração, etc; a adoção é um ato de compensação e 37% alegaram motivações altruístas, um ato de nobreza. A motivação (altruísmo ou infertilidade) não determina melhor relacionamento amoroso ou afetivo. Sabe-se diferençar estes dois sentimentos? Adotantes de menor nível sócio-cultural e aquisitivo são os que mais fizeram adoções altruístas e apresentaram exigências menores em relação à criança, portanto ato de nobreza. A proporção de pessoas espíritas e protestantes é mais alta entre os adotantes do que na população em geral. Ato de amor? A maioria dos adotantes (71%) adotam bebês com até 3 meses e apresentam leve preferência por meninas de cor branca; rejeitam pardas e negras (por preconceito?). 25% aceitam maiores até 4 anos, brancos e saudáveis por um ato de nobreza. Por amor, alguns doentes, deficientes e negros maiores ficam para 4% dos casais. E por inconveniência, desamor e falta de nobreza pessoas chegam à vida adulta nos orfanatos e são expulsos de lá. O amor é, dentre outras coisas, devoção de uma pessoa ou um grupo de pessoas por um ideal concreto ou abstrato; interesse, fascínio, entusiasmo, veneração. Em "Construir Notícias" encontramos esta pérola de Lídia Weber: "Enquanto os técnicos dos Serviços de Adoção do Poder Judiciário no Brasil tentam criar condições perfeitas (encontrar candidatos perfeitos para bebês perfeitos), a maioria das adoções em meu país é classificada como "inadequada" pela maioria dos profissionais da área da psicologia, são adoções singulares: baseadas em mentiras (registrar uma criança como filho biológico); a motivação mais freqüente é egoísta, ou seja, é a satisfação de um desejo de maternidade; a preparação dos adotantes e das crianças é praticamente inexistente; entre outros aspectos desfavoráveis."
Obrigado pela atenção, Dácio Jaegger

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